Been awhile. But I intend to contribute to the useless amount of crap circling the internet more frequently, because, why not? Actually, it leads right in to my topic.

I have some thing to say. It is "Mother's Day." Yes, I have a mother, and she is fine. I am not a mother: not by chance, not by choice. I am nearly (gasp) 50, and I have no offspring. If I had met my soul mate before now, I'd might have kids. I'm not opposed to kids, this was never a "statement." I was unwilling to have a baby for its own sake. Or for my sake. So, for the plethora of "reasons," I have no offspring.

I have many friends who, for whatever reason of theirs, also have no kids. I am not alone. It is apparently a growing section of the population I belong to: single women, no kids. Woo-hoo. I feel so loved.

Let me also say, for the record, I have no regrets. Had I had a kid, it would've been with one of the terrible people I dated, so both of us, me and my potential child, dodged a bullet. Of this I am confident. All the men I "dated" (except the latest) were phenomenally egotistic crap versions of humans, and since I already grew up with one of those, I really am done. So suffice it to say, I have no problem with this, having made my peace with it long ago.

But. (And there's always a but, isn't there?) I must say, there is a great deal of crowing about this, not from the kids, or the partner, but from the woman who did the birth-giving. Such a sacrifice she made, and she wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Really? Let's be honest. You wouldn't change it for ANYTHING? Really? REALLY?? Okay. Let's start with the easy stuff: I NEVER get up in the middle of the night to attend to anybody. (Unless my cat barfs, which is rare.) Never. My sleep is never interrupted by someone who cannot survive without my attention.

I never have to make a sacrifice of time, that valuable thing we all have too little of, because someone who demands my attention has a toothache. Or a bad dream. Or a bad grade. Or a tiff with their best friend. Or a poopy diaper. Never. My time is all my own. Always.

I never have to give my money to something I don't want. Like cheerleading camp. Or the best preschool. Or braces. Or to take care of some anomaly that life throws at us all. My money is my own, what little there is of it.

So there's three: no loss of sleep, no sacrifice of time, no giving of my money.

Yes, those are things that to some of you might sound selfish. But I bet, if given the chance and if nobody knew, some of you may want very much to be in my position. And it's okay to admit that you're jealous. I have things you will NEVER have. You gave all that up for that diaper-shitting, money-sucking, time-using, sleep-depriving, silence-shattering thing you gave birth to. I have no such drain on my resources. I drain my own resource, thank you. And I love every minute of it.

My path has as much merit as yours. No, there isn't a day to honor those of us who decided not to bring another baby into this world, or felt so strongly about ourselves (or our partners) that we felt we needed to re-create in order to prove our worth to the world. Or to carry on the family name, or because your mother needed a grandchild, or whatever your reason was. So who has the cred? You or me? Well, you do have a day named for you. But my whole life is actually mine, and I don't need one day to celebrate that, or to make others celebrate it. I have every day to enjoy that I don't have anyone else I have total responsibility for fucking up.

So days like this, when what seems like the entire world focuses on the women who spit out a baby, can be a little sickening to people like us, who made a different choice. We could have been in your group, but we chose not to. Did you choose? If you did, great. If you didn't sorry. But please, don't look down on those of us who made a different choice. Don't feel sorry for us, don't regale us with tales of how you "wouldn't change it for all the world" and how your kids were the "best thing that ever happened to you." I don't believe that. I believe you are making the best of a situation you realized, at some point, was not what you meant. I don't believe you wouldn't trade it. I don't believe it was the best thing that ever happened to you. Unless you listen to what I say here, now:

Not having a kid was the BEST choice I ever made. And I don't regret a minute of it.

Got that?