A Good Book, A Long Wait, and A New Old Friend

A Good Book. I've always been a fairly avid reader. I have stacks of books in (nearly) every room, stacks near my bed, stacks on my bed, in some eternal, internal plea that I could glean something by just having them near me. I try, surely, to absorb them in my sleep. I'm always searching for the book that will capture my imagination, that will give me the answer, that will fix my life. Clearly, there's a lot of disappointment. But recently, a very close friend, a brilliant writer, and definitely a bibliophile in the contextual sense, gave me a tip on a book she'd read. It's called "Odd Women" by George Gissing. Written in the later part of the 19th century, set in England, it is a valuable reflection of the life and choices women faced just as the women's movement was trying to find its footing. "George" isn't an pseudonym in this case, it was really written by a man. That's part of what makes it incredible, because it seems to me that he had the amazing ability to empathize with both genders' situations, and even to create credible relationships.

It's about five "odd" women. "Odd" in this case means both "unmarried" and "singular" in their thinking; that is, the two main women find themselves in situations with men that are not of their choosing, and they realize the difficulties of a society that only values a woman if she's married. As a happily confirmed single person, I found it quite amazing. A little bit difficult to read because of the heightened language, but the mores of the times are jaw-dropping. How far we've come, how far we have to go, that sort of thing. Anyway, I've just finished, and I miss the characters. A sure sign of a good book.

A Long Wait. We're waiting now, waiting to see the full cast. We're bored, perhaps, with the two stars, Obama and McCain, and we are on the edge of our seats waiting for their announcements of running mates. And the conjecture is thundering. There have been (and will be, until it's over) hundreds of hours pondering the choices, the signs, the possibilities, the reasons, the yada-yada-yada as we wait, a little like young children in the back seat: Are we there yet? How about now? Now? Then when? It's another perfect example of the tail wagging the dog. Stay tuned....

A New Old Friend. Recently, I got talked into creating a Facebook page. Well, fooled into it is a little more accurate. Anyway, I felt pretty silly. I can see why it's so much fun as a teenager, or even a college student, I guess, but I thought to myself, why do I need a page? It felt like filling out a page for my yearbook. A bit juvenile. After all, I, as a so-called grown-up, can connect with anyone I wanted to by picking up the phone. And don't I have everyone in my life that I need? Who needs tons of friends to keep up with? And if people pop up from my past, isn't that, kind of, asking for trouble?

Well, I was wrong. Very wrong. Silly me. (That'll teach me, right? Of course, right!) At first, I reconnected with a couple of college buddies, that's good, people I chose to hang with, so I'm still confident in our connection points. A couple of high school buddies, good, didn't have as much choice in h.s., but as I remember, I found some pretty choice friends there, too.

But then, out of that proverbial clear blue s., along came a friend from elementary school, can you imagine? Now, I had not just remembered her, but we were so tight then that I have often thought of her in the years since. I was an only child at that point, and she was as close to a sister as I could have. She had siblings, but they were much older, so she probably thought of me the same way. I grew up in a very small town where nothing much ever changed. Her family came, and left, rather quickly (to me her departure was wrenching). Maybe that was it. Anyway, up she pops, "are you the same one I grew up with?" and poof. A new, old friend. Not even a friend I grew up with, and yet we have so much in common, I think if we met today, we'd be fast friends in a blink of an eye. Now that's just weird. How does your best friend from like the 3rd grade (in a VERY small town, where the choices are FEW) end up being someone you'd've picked as a grown-up?
I'm still in awe. And, it the very weirdest twist, as we try to catch up with each other's life, I'm realizing something I would NEVER have thought of, when I signed up with Facebook: It works both ways. Yes, you may discover that there was a reason you and the high school buddy grew apart, and that's ever so obvious now, but that you ALSO might connect with someone who liked you before all the angst and pain and depression and heartache that has become so much a part of you, and if there's still a connection, maybe you had some of the good qualities then, before it all got screwed up. Maybe I wasn't quite the blank slate I thought of myself as. Does that makes sense? If we still connect, nearly 40 years later, maybe there really was a connection then, and maybe it was us in our purest selves, and maybe it's without all the gunk that's happened since.

Well, whatever it is, it has made me really quite happy, and more importantly, hopeful, in a way I haven't felt in a long time. Weird, huh?